


This stupid book

by Allythe



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Books, Genderbending, Genderswap, I should be working on my 2 other fics but ok, Kissing, M/M, Magic, Magical Accidents, Self-Indulgent, So basically Hanamaki and Oikawa are turned into girls, Spells & Enchantments, This Is STUPID, dont waste your time unless this is ur cup of tea pal, idk how kissing works im ace sexual and a virgin in everything romance wise help, that awko taco moment, this is very bad and has horrible plot since i just want this idea out of my headdd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-01-30 08:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21425290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allythe/pseuds/Allythe
Summary: Hanamaki and Oikawa are left together alone for barely an hour, and yet they still cause trouble. This time though, they don't inconvenience other people, but instead they ruin their own life. A shady book in the library's science fiction section has them go through a massive headache and they don't deserve it. ...Well....... maybe they do...
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro & Oikawa Tooru, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinted and Implied Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	This stupid book

**Author's Note:**

> Ajshdgsijn I'm so sorry. Really. I wanted to write my 2 fics that are multiple chapters but I mashed up two of my ideas together and created this mess. I've been wanting to write Seijoh and some Genderswap and i wanted to write Hanamaki and Oikawas friendship so badabing badaboom there we go. This is a sad attempt at a fan fiction but this is for my own enjoyment and to get the gender swap idea out of my head and it enables me to be able to write my other stuff, it might suck but it will benefit my brain. But yeah this is stupid, don't waste your precious time.

Hanamaki Takahiro and Oikawa Tooru were always in the company of their best friends. It was unusual when you saw one without the other, Like a puzzle missing several pieces, you couldn't help but worry when they weren't in a five foot radius.

Iwaizumi and Matsukawa were both more level headed than the other two, they kept it equal. Of course when Matsukawa was alone with Hanamaki they would probably ruin everyone's day, But he was mostly responsible when he needed to be. 

But it's a cold day in hell and both Matsukawa and Iwaizumi are busy and left their two friends alone, leaving them both to cause calamity.

They were both extremely troublesome. Oikawa would ruin groups of peoples lives without even uttering a word (okay we all know he couldn't keep his trap shut but that's besides the point,) and Makki could cause people to doubt their very existence on the planet, together they were a headache.

They could cause much more damage, set buildings on fire, summon Satan, sell their souls, become dictators, there was a whole list on why they both should be looked after and everyone would rather throw themselves down several staircases then be in their presence.

The thing was, everyone knew what problems they could cause together, but they all thought when the two were alone that they were angels.

Oikawa was admired by guys and girls because of his charming attitude and pretty face and Hanamaki was a sweetheart towards fellow students and teachers, But they were evil, not a single innocent bone in either of them.

Like in Year 2 they both pulled the fire alarm several times throughout the day, causing everyone in the school to miss every single class. None of the teachers couldn't figure out who was causing it, the fire department kept arriving and they thought the fire alarms were broken. Everyone looked up to them as gods for the problems they caused, mostly out of fear.

Also at the end of Year 2 they convinced everyone to dye their hair bright green for a week and had everyone switch around seats in class, which caused even more problems for their poor professors. It only lasted a week since Oikawa couldn't stand his hair for more time than that, claiming it would have been better if they dyed their hair teal.

And finally in the start of the year, they filled the principals office with jelly beans, _ fucking jellybeans _, Which wasn't a huge problem other then the amount of ants in the office and hallways after it.

People already liked them, but after the things they caused **everyone **to start worshiping them as Aoba Johsai's only gods, well expect for Iwaizumi since he was a champion in arm wrestling and that is fucking cool, okay?

So they both sat in the library, alone without their more tame friends watching their every move. Oikawa was viewing every book in the science fiction aisle while Makki flipped through his Instagram feed, even though they were viewed as people who raised hell, they actually weren't causing any issues, yet.

"Look Makki! Look!" Oikawa flopped down a dusty book while screaming excitedly.

The book was huge and had large words on the front that were in an unreadable language. The book was extremely ancient and even the language in the book was undefinable. 

"What," Hanamaki looked down at the book "How did you even find that in the Science fiction section? It looks fake." He tried to hold in his giggles, the book looked like a huge joke, a really well thought out joke.

"I have no idea, really, I was looking at the space books and do you believe this there is an alien book labeled as fantasy I can't belie-" Oikawa stopped his long rant, holding up his own hand to stop his chatter, "I'm getting off track, Okay so this book was behind all the books and its really old and ugly but it's interesting, I think we should try it." The book really was ugly, It had a golden binder that was extremely dirty, and the cover was a worn out purple that was probably really vibrant when it was made.

Hanamaki flipped to the first page, giving it a try, but really he couldn't make sense of anything, he pushed it to Oikawa, "You're the smarter one here, do any of these words even look like words to you?" 

Oikawa's eyes were glued on the page, and he tried to sound a few words out, most of the things that he uttered sounded like some crazy rambling and Hanamaki couldn't help but laugh, he started to cry because he was laughing so hard.

Soon after Oikawa reached the second page he started laughing too, They both were just in an empty library clinging their stomachs because of some bullshit book. 

"Okay, Stop laughing! I'm trying to read here!" Oikawa said while choking on his own laughter.

After a minute of reading he frowned "Nothing is happening, this is so lame." He slammed the book and got up, placing it in the fantasy section instead of science fiction.

Hanamaki sighed, he wanted to come up with a new prank idea with Oikawa but all he was doing was babysitting, He refreshed his feed once more before groaning.

"This is so boring, we need to come up with a new prank, we haven't done anything in five months and we need to keep the peasants admiring us." He inquired dramatically.

"I don't need pranks to be worshiped, I'm beautiful, they don't need anything more." It was ironic coming from the biggest nerd in school, Oikawa had a high ego and pretty face but if people figured out he was a geek then he wouldn't be worshiped, and not even his beauty could save his horrible personality.

Hanamaki sighed, "Whatever nerd, I'm going home and I'm going to look up ways to ruin my life, enjoy the fantasy books." He waved and Oikawa gasped, completely offended. Only their group of friends knew how much he hated when people said aliens weren't real or even considered them made up. Hanamaki picked up his bag and walked out of the library, texting Iwaizumi that he left and that Oikawa would probably go back to practice volleyball again, and that nobody would be able to pull him away from the gym. Snickering at Iwaizumi's passive aggressive responses, he pocketed his phone and continued down the road to his house.

**\--**

Hanamaki woke to his phone ringing. _ugh who the fuck is calling at _He rubbed his eyes and looked at his alarm clock_ 3:49 AM?! Who the fuck is up this early? _

He answered his phone and the person calling immediately spoke "Oh god, Makki! What the fuck oh my god help me this is _horrible!_" The voice was whiny and feminine. it wasn't anyone he recognized so he squinted and looked at the caller Id 

** _Hanger _**

Okay what? There was a girl calling from Oikawa's phone who used his nickname, who he didn't recognize, What? 

Instead of being smart and just hanging up on the woman calling he spoke to them "Uhm who are you?" But when he spoke he didn't hear his own voice, but instead a more feminine voice.

What is going on? Is this a fever dream? Was he on drugs? He didn't remember taking any.

He sat in confusion while the girl on the other end spoke. "Oh my god, Thank god it's not just me" They laughed but it sounded more panicked and worried. "Oh yeah uhhh.... It's Oikawa and I woke up and now I'm a fucking girl?? Have you looked in the mirror yet."

Okay this was definitely some joke or something, but he played along. "No not yet." It couldn't be a prank though, he sounded like a girl also. This was definitely some fucked up dream.

He did get up though, and tiptoed to his bathroom with his phone, flicking on the lights to see in the mirror...

A girl.

She had short pinkish hair like his own, slim body with his clothes, barely fitting into them. 

"What the fuck? What? What? Oikawa is this really you? What is going on? Why is my mirror reflection a girl?" His brain was white static and he pinched his arm extremely hard, the girl in the mirror mimicking his actions. It hurt.

His hissed into his phone "Oh my god? Are we girls now? What the fuck is going on, how did this happen." 

"I don't know?! Can you meet me at school in like, ten minutes? We need to figure this out before school starts today, I'm not telling my parents that I transformed to a girl in the middle of the night." 

"Oh god, my parents wouldn't even believe me," He poked at the mirror making sure it was one hundred percent real "This isn't a dream... Okay uh, I'll meet you at school in ten minutes, and I'll text you when I'm there. See ya."  
  
Hanamaki couldn't crack a joke, this was too crazy to even joke about. Maybe when he turned back he could poke fun about this experience but this was life changing.

What if he didn't change back? If they couldn't figure out what caused this, whatever this was, they would both be stuck as girls forever. Get a new life, new friends, new family. Nope, he wasn't doing that, no way.

The clothes stored in his closet barely fit, He grabbed out sweatpants and a hoodie from his first year, hoping the size change wouldn't be anything more than that. The clothes fit fine, The hoodie was baggie, which was good, But the pants fit perfectly, not too big, not too small. He put on his mother's sneakers and slipped out his front door quietly.

The neighborhood was quiet, no lights on, nobody awake, just a guy in a girls body sprinting towards Aoba Johsai, Nothing too strange though.

He arrived at the school and texted Oikawa, who responded with messy texts that read similar to 'almost there'.

Three minutes after he sent his text, a girl around his age appeared at the gates. Her hair was curly and chocolate brown, and it looked like bedhead. She was pretty and had eyes the same color as her hair. It hit him, this girl was definitely Oikawa.

  
"Yo." he said, in the disturbing feminine voice, there was no way he was getting used to this.

"Makki? Oh god what the heck you look like how you would look if you were turned into a girl which you were turned into a girl but-" Okay yep, he held up his hand to stop Oikawa from continuing. It was definitely Oikawa, That was exactly the way he spoke when he was panicking.

"We should go to the club room and lock ourselves inside, We don't have practice this morning so we can probably figure it out hopefully before after school practice." Makki suggested, "Other students might get here early so we can't hang around at all, as much as I'd like to seduce them and break their hearts." He snickered at the end of his comment but he forgot his voice wasn't his own and his laugh came out cuter than it normally would.

"Ew," Oikawa said, "Yeah we need to fix this immediately, come on." He started running towards the club room pulling Makki behind him, Obviously trying to get him to face plant on the concrete and mess up his new beautiful face.

They reached the club room without tripping, _sadly_ , And Oikawa fished into his pocket for the keys. When they stepped inside they locked the door and Oikawa immediately began speaking. 

"Okay so why did this happen? Magic isn't real, so this shouldn't even be happening!!" Wow, so Aliens existed and magic wasn't real, Oikawa's mind really was interesting.

He thought in silence while Oikawa panicked by pushing his hands into his hair and walking around in circles. How would this have happened? Yesterday was uneventful, nothing really happened that- _Oh_

"Oh my god." He blurted out randomly which caused Oikawa's head to turn towards him.

"The book. That book we found in the Science fiction isle that we laughed about. It was old, In a language that doesn't even exist." It made so much sense and at the same time it made zero sense.

Oikawa was silent for a moment before speaking in a dejected tone. "So doesn't that mean that we are, stuck as girls? We can't read that book so we don't know if there is any way to reverse what we did..." They both stood silent and stared at the ground. Normally they were both happy and charming, there was no way to keep that attitude in this situation, it was too serious.

Oikawa spoke again. but this time he choked on his words "Do you think this will affect volleyball....What if we lose our team forever, What if they won't believe us and.." Hanamaki already knew what he was thinking, even after he stopped, _What if they lost all their friends and family and never spoke to anyone again._

It would be something Oikawa would worry about, If Iwaizumi didn't believe him then he would lose the most important person to him. Everyone would consider them missing or dead, not even glancing at the two girls who looked exactly like them.

Would Matsukawa believe him? Would everyone mourn them, even if they were alive? 

  
Nope, Nope! They needed to stay positive.

  
"Do you think being girls will change how we play volleyball?" Oikawa looked up, but didn't respond. Only a second later he gasped.

"Since we are girls we can get pregnant." Oikawa said without skipping a beat. Hanamaki started laughing, One of the first things Oikawa realizes after they are girls is that they can get pregnant, it was all too funny. He cackled loudly, His laughter sounding like squeaks. Oikawa looked offended, he was being serious about it, but the mood was lighter which was the best in this situation.

Once Hanamakis laughter calmed, he wiped the tears from his eyes. "That's the first" he wheezed before continuing, "The first thing that pops into your mind when I spoke about volleyball?" He couldn't breathe, Was Oikawa planning on- oh

He blinked at Oikawa, "Oh my god you were thinking about doing tha-" Oikawa screamed, interrupting him "NOOOO STOPP MAKKI!!!" Oikawa whined, And Makki started laughing again, this was perfect blackmail material.

Once he calmed down for good Oikawa continued speaking, "But seriously, What do we do? How do we fix this? Do we just wait it out and hope for the best? We can't skip school forever..."

Maybe they should tell the team, If more people could help them then it would work out. 

"I know telling people is a huge risk but, It might help. We should at least tell someone." Oikawa looked at him with a face of disbelief that said _are you crazy? _

"They might believe us, I mean, We look exactly the same, Just," He motioned at himself, thinking, "Girls?" He decided say.

Oikawa crossed his arms and hummed in thought. 

"It might work, If Iwa-chan goes to my house and I'm missing and he comes into school to see a girl that resembles me he might be smart enough to put two and two together." Ah, Iwaizumi was extremely dense so this was a gamble, But maybe he would understand.

Oikawa pulled out his phone and Hanamaki, being the nosy person he is, glanced over his shoulder to see it was almost time for school and Iwaizumi already texted Oikawa several times asking where he was. 

Oikawa thought for a moment before he answered back. It was smart, Oikawa told Iwaizumi he was already at school and since Iwaizumi wouldn't see him or Hanamaki in class or lunch when they arrived to see them in the club room they might believe it.

Which reminded him..

Matsukawa would definitely talk to Iwaizumi at lunch about how they were both missing but they both weren't home and said they were in class, it would work well in the end. It wasn't a foolproof plan but it was smart and might work, he hoped. 

Hanamaki and Oikawa spent the whole day in the club room, Thinking about different ways to reverse what happened to them. They tore out a page in a notebook and started writing on it.

**Wait it out: **It wasn't smart, but it could work. The curse or spell or whatever it was could have a time limit and it might wear off eventually, but they didn't know the time limit and they could just be waiting for something that wouldn't happen.

**Try reading the book again: **This might cause something worse to happen to them or it could save them. It would be a last resort since some of the spells might be extremely dangerous. They made a note to burn the book after they returned to normal

**True love's kiss: **Oikawa's idea, which was just stupid. This wasn't a fairy tale and it would most likely not work, and it could cause problems in the future involving embarrassment.

**Cry and just live life: **An option both of them would like to avoid, really. If nothing worked it would be the only option left and death would be more welcomed then this is.

**Bleed:** This is messed up, Just messed up. Maybe they could bleed out the magic or something though? It's still kinda screwed up though, Who thought of this?

**Destroy the book: **If the book doesn't exist or disappears maybe the magic will go with it? Still unsure if it's magic or not, could be something different.

**Notes at the bottom: **Was in science fiction so aliens? Could be possible but there would be no way to fix this if not. 

Figure out how old the book is.

Chemistry???

They both looked down at their list, A pathetic list really, and it took them hours to come up with it. They got up from the floor and stretched.

"Man being a girl sucks, I feel so stiff, but I definitely lost a few pounds." Hanamaki pushed his arms as high and as far as he could, earning a satisfying crack, and relief in his arms.

Oikawa hummed, "Our voices are really nice though, we sound cute. Can't believe we are such snacks even as girls." 

It was true. They both were really pretty as girls, He would totally date himself.

Oikawa put a hand to his mouth, "I have a genius idea, I mean, I know we are supposed to tell our team that we were turned into girls, but... What if we flirted with them instead?" Oikawa had a mischievous glint in his eyes. It was a fun idea, but they would probably be hit afterwards.

Anyway he was sure half the guys in the club didn't even swing that way. He had no preference himself actually.

"It wouldn't work, like fifty percent of the club likes guys and the other half likes both." He sighed, that would have been amazing if it would work on everyone. He could imagine seducing them and then revealing themselves, their reactions would be golden. But anyways, The end of the day was nearing, only an hour till their teammates came in.

"How do we like even start explaining what happened?" Makki asked "It's gonna be reallllyy awkward at first, two random girls in the guys volleyball club room." Hopefully they would have time to explain their situation before everyone started freaking out. 

Since both of them had nothing to do and were stuck in the club room, they both sat against the wall and scrolled through their social media feeds. His feed was full of selfies, food, and mainly memes.

Oikawa got a text and Hanamaki, Being the nosy person he is, looked over Oikawa's shoulder.

**Iwa-chan: **Where the fuck r u? You werent at school the whole day dont tell me u skipped asshole.

**Iwa-chan: **Also Matsukawa said he didn't see Hanamaki all day either, r u guys doing something stupid.

Oikawa even had Iwaizumi named Iwa-chan on his phone, cute. Also he was a bit offended that they thought they were doing something stupid, all his ideas were genius.

Oikawa started typing back to Iwaizumi

**YOU: **Don't worry Iwa-chan me and Makki had something come up but we will be at the club we need ur help.

Hanamaki stopped looking over Oikawa's shoulder to go to his phone. Several Instagram notifications were on his home screen but no texts, he felt kinda sad and jealous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**3:30pm**

Hanamaki and Oikawa had been camping out in the clubroom for the whole day now. Oikawa got a few texts from Iwaizumi and Hanamaki only got one text from a classmate who sent him notes. 

Oikawas received another text from Iwaizumi, Hanamaki peeked at the text and Oikawa slanted his phone in the direction of Hanamaki so they could both see the phone.

**Iwa-chan: **are me and matsukawa walking to the clubroom with u or r u guys going there without us??

**YOU: **dw Iwa-chan! We are already here.

Oikawa's messages seemed normal but had a bit of an ominous tone to them, Iwaizumi was a dense bastard though, so he probably didn't notice.

The club door was locked so Hanamaki and Oikawa would let the club in from the inside, there was only one key and Oikawa had it so nobody could get in before Hanamaki and Oikawa made up a plan.

There was no plan, They were going to wait till the whole club arrived by the door and open it explaining how they were turned into girls and they needed them to go to the library to pick up the book to change them back, hopefully.

Yahaba and Watari were the first to arrive. Outside the door the two talked

"Are we early? Normally the third years would be here." Watari's voice muffled through the door.

"No? There also wasn't any warning of practice being cancelled so they are probably just late or something."

The both of them chatted for a bit before Kindaichi arrived.

"Hey guys, Why are you waiting out here?" Kindaichi asked.

"Third years are late, Where is Kunimi?"

"Kunimi got sick, or he told me he got sick, he might just be sleeping." 

There were more footsteps when Kindaichi was done talking. "Oh Iwaizumi-senpai, Matsukawa-senpai, Where is uh..?"

"They aren't here? They haven't been in school all day but Oikawa texted me saying they were at practice."

Everyone is here, Any plan or idea in Hanamaki's mind faded, Why did it feel awkward? Yeah it's strange to believe this, but they had to believe them, Right?

Oikawa's phone buzzed, and he pulled it out of his pockets to reply to the message.

**Iwa-chan: **Where are you?

**YOU: **We will let u in, just don't freak out please.

**Iwa-chan: **what did u do

**YOU: **just when i open the door let us explain and dont let anyone freak out.

The other side of the door was silent and Oikawa stepped up to the door, tapping it a few times before reaching for the handle.

Oikawa looked worried and his face was pulled into a tight frown, obviously his plan of flirting was gone, he was too stressed that this was actually happening. 

Oikawa stopped and pulled his hand away from the door, his phone appeared in his hand again.

**YOU: **actually um im going to unlock the door and u open it

Oikawa pulled a smile at Hanamaki but it looked extremely forced and didn't have any cheerful vibes to it. He wondered what Oikawa thought would happen if he opened the door himself.

He flicked the lock and pulled Hanamaki to the side, and Hanamaki almost face planted on the ground.

It felt like forever when Iwaizumi finally pulled open the door, seeing Hanamaki and Oikawa to the side.

"What the fuck?" Was all he said, the other teammates tried seeing inside the club room but Iwaizumi was blocking most of their views with his broad muscles.

Matsukawa saw right over Iwaizumi though, since he was freakishly tall, he spoke next "What?" Then he saw them both. Hanamaki would be laughing at the situation if he wasn't in it. Imagine seeing two girls who looked just like your friends who didn't appear at school but still messaged you to tell you they were alive.

"What the fuck?" He said the same exact thing as Iwaizumi. Everyone else was very confused and couldn't quite see over the third years.

"What happened? What the heck? Who?" Iwaizumi was obviously extremely dense if he didn't recognize them, he probably thought Hanamaki and Oikawa got two girls who looked exactly like them to be in the club room for a new prank.

"Oh my god Iwa-chan your stupid," The next words he spoke were panicked and rushed "wegotturnedintogirlsandweneedhelpitsnotajoke." 

Iwaizumi just blinked "What???"

Oikawa took in a deep breath and Hanamaki looked at him to see he looked extremely pissed. He patted him on the back and spoke for him "What he meant to say was, Its us, Hanamaki and Oikawa y'know? Yeah we woke up as girls, turns out we messed with some crazy black magic book and yep." He gestured to himself and Oikawa, hoping his message was clear. The rest of everyone understood what was going on probably, since they heard everything going on in the room that was blocked. Since nobody spoke Hanamaki took it as an offering to speak again.

"You probably don't believe us but just, look, we look exactly the same, same features and everything just more feminine so if you had a brain you guys could be able to comprehend this, take your time though." Matsukawa just nodded while Iwaizumi still had the gears in his head turning, what an idiot.

Matsukawa patted Iwaizumi's back and pushed him out of the way. "That's definitely them, The amount of bitching done in one sentence is only something Hanamaki can do," Hanamaki deadpanned at him "and Oikawa's voice is even more annoying as a girl so." Oikawa let out a huff.

Matsukawa probably didn't know but him understanding instantly was great and relieved the stress building up in both of them. Hanamaki sighed with relief "Thank you, so could you guys maybe go to the library and find the book?" Hanamaki nudged Oikawa and he got the message   
"Oh yeah, Uhm, Volleyball is canceled since if we can get this fixed immediately it would cause less problems, please help I don't want to be stuck and join a new team." Oikawa cried in his annoyingly high pitched voice and Hanamaki winced from the sound of it.

Iwaizumi finally seemed to get everything that was going on, "Wait this isn't a joke? Why the fuck did you mess with black magic? How did you even anger a book?" 

Oikawa gave Iwaizumi this look that Hanamaki could only describe as _'bitch please' _,He probably was done with how stupid Iwaizumi was.

"Iwa-chan remember when we were 10 and we tried to-" Iwaizumi gave an exasperated look and cut him off, knowing exactly what story he was telling. "Ok, nevermind, That's definitely Oikawa. Nobody else can make me this irritated." Nice. Oikawa got Iwaizumi and his thick head to understand.

Matsukawa stepped in the club room "What library is the book at? Its funny seeing you guys like this but Oikawa is getting annoying real quick. We need to do something before Iwaizumi snaps."

Hanamaki hummed. "Its at the library that we go to when Oikawa needs to read about aliens, not the schools. The book was in the Sci-fi section behind all the books, but Oikawa put it in the Fantasy section.."

Matsukawa dumped his stuff on the ground and turned to Iwaizumi "Lets go, we need to find the black magic book."

Iwaizumi just frowned. "What did the book even look like?"

Hanamaki shrugged and they glanced at Oikawa for a brief second before Oikawa opened his mouth again.

"Ooooh. It had a golden binder and it was purple and dirty, also very ugly like you Iwa-chan!" Hanamaki put his hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing, if they didn't think that was Oikawa before they definitely did now, Everyone but Oikawa was too scared to insult Iwaizumi but of course Oikawa didn't value his life and insulted him a lot. Iwaizumi gave him a pointed look and walked out the door.

Matsukawa laughed quietly and walked after Iwaizumi, catching up easily since Iwaizumi had short legs.

Oikawa waved the first and second years over "You heard all that right?" They nodded, "Ok, so you guys need to help us think of ways to break the spell," He showed them the list they created, "This is what we have, now do you have any ideas?"

Their teammates looked at the list and looked mortified.

"Bleed? That's really.... Why would you even think of that?" Yahaba looked at both of them, "I knew you were demons but I wouldn't think you would have a messed up idea like _that._" His face twisted into a disgusted frown.

Oikawa looked at him with a disappointed frown, "So do you have any ideas or not? I don't need your sass right now!"

Hanamaki had to keep himself from laughing since Oikawa sounded like a mom.

Was the spell changing how they acted? Oikawa never acted like a mom and acted more like a child. 

The five remaining members slouched over the list and came up with a few more ideas to add. If none of their ideas worked they would search the web and library for any magic books or witches even if they were fake.

The members were still sat around the piece of paper when Iwaizumi and Matsukawa stepped through the door holding the book.

"Thank god" Hanamaki exclaimed, both of them sat down at the table placing the book down, Hanamaki was just glad the book didn't magically disappear the day before.

Oikawa grabbed at the book and started flipping through the pages, distressed. "Makki do you remember the page?"

_Shit._

Hanamaki spoke or tried to speak in a stable tone, but his voice was a bit broken "I don't. I don't remember it, Shit Oikawa what the fuck are we supposed to do? How do you not remember it you were the one reading it!" He started shaking Oikawa mid way through and Oikawa looked on the verge of tears which made him look like a kicked puppy when he was a girl.

Both of them were freaking out and the first and second years watched, not knowing what to do, while the other third years practically gravitated to their sides and attempted to calm down.

"Hey, Hey, calm down, do you guys remember what happened before then? Like before you grabbed the book?" Matsukawa asked in a soothing tone.

Hanamaki and Oikawa both glanced over at the other and the room filled with silence. He remembered scrolling through his phone while Oikawa searched the Sci-fi section, then they found the book and laughed at it after reading a single page. He didn't remember what page.

Oikawa was still thinking since he had a galaxy for a brain and Hanamaki was hoping Oikawa would be extra enough to remember every detail.

"The first page." Oikawa said with a flat tone after a few seconds.

"We're so fucking stupid." Hanamaki muttered. Leave it to them to forget the most basic thing, they must have been too stupid, or smart however you look at it, to flip to a random page.

Oikawa opened his mouth to start reading before his jaw snapped close, which sounded sorta painful damn.

"Wha-" Hanamaki started to ask what he was doing before Oikawa talked over him.

"I don't think anyone should be near the room while we read." 

"Why?" was all Iwaizumi asked, sounding done with all their bullshit.

"Because," Oikawa stated dramatically "Hanamaki didn't read the book at all." Oh.

"Oh. Oh my god. I didn't! I just was next to you, Oh my god Oikawa fuck you, you dragged me down with you, you bitch." He gave Oikawa a cold glare. Hanamaki only glanced at the book in order to see if he understood it, he never spoke a word, Oikawa really did curse him.

Iwaizumi shook his head "Of course it's all your fault," he sighed, "Okay everyone we are going. Guys, meet us in the gym when you finish with your demon magic." Everyone groaned and left, hoping for a practice free day but nope, Coach was probably already furious with them anyway.

After everyone was gone Oikawa turned to Hanamaki "I'm sorry for cursing you, I didn't know."

"Its okay I guess, I could have lived without being cursed but it was good you remembered, the whole club could have been cursed." Oikawa smiled lightly, probably expecting Hanamaki to strangle him after everyone left, which he wouldn't have done since Oikawa was the only one who could read anything from the book.

"Okay now just read the book already, I don't want to be here any longer." He groaned and rolled his eyes impatiently.

"Okay, jeez." Oikawa muttered like a stubborn brat

Oikawa read the book, except this time neither were laughing or struggling to breathe, both just tired of this day.

They reached the end of the first page and sat in silence, Nothing. Oikawa's lips pulled into a tight frown.

"It might take time, the first time nothing happened until we went to bed, so.. uhm." Hanamaki said, not even believing his own words. Normally curses in books were instantly reversed.

He sighed, "Lets just go to the gym, come on." He got up and pulled Oikawa up with him, and they both made their way towards the gym.

When they opened the doors and stepped in everyone looked over and saw them both as girls still, everyone was instantly concerned and confused.

"Didn't work," Oikawa mumbled and picked up a volleyball. "Whatever, I can still play." 

Oikawa threw the ball up in the air and ran forward to jump up. When he lifted his legs off the ground however his palm didn't quite reach the ball, instead he was almost a foot under it and the ball flew in the direction he'd thrown it in, never making any contact with his hand. A pure look of shook and something unidentified appeared on his face, it probably was something along the lines of disappointment or anger directed towards himself.

None of it was his fault either, it was the correct form and all its just his height, weight, and body shape had changed because of the spell, but Oikawa was most likely beating himself up about it.

His feet touched the ground and he clenched his hands into a fist and grimaced at the ground, muttering something along the lines of 'dammit'

Iwaizumi moved towards him and patted him on the back, "Did you guys test any of the other options or just that one?"

"Just the one." Oikawa replied in a bland tone. They hadn't tried all of them since the one they tried was common and simple.

"Okay, so try them. Nothing worse can happen." Iwaizumi shrugged while tossing the stray ball into the cart.

Oikawa hummed thoughtfully. "A kiss is easy to get, I guess." His lips pressed into a thin line and he continued, "But I don't know if anyone would kiss me with the current situation, No guy would kiss a girl that would change into a guy and no girl would kiss a guy that turned into a girl, so not so simple." 

  
It was a logical answer, If you were a straight you wouldn't kiss someone if they would change into the opposite gender or the same gender, also letting the information that they changed into girls get out was not a smart idea.

"I agree with Oikawa on this one." Hanamaki randomly said, "Also if it didn't work there would be gossip about how we magically turned into girls, and then it would reach the full public and blah blah, blah." Hanamaki could go on with all the cons of asking someone to kiss them.

Iwaizumi looked at them strangely, "But what if one of us kissed you?" A choking sound came from Oikawa's direction.

"Mnm.. Yeah but who?" This conversation was going in the worst direction and shit was going down. It was like a train crash, unstoppable and even if it was somehow stopped there would be damage that might not be fixable and they would have to drop everything they worked for.

Maybe Hanamaki could pull some _'friendship is magic'_ bullshit and convince them that all and any kissing would be fully platonic, no homo, even though it was a complete utter lie, full homo intended.

Yahaba was the successor of Oikawa and could observe people in a similar way that he could so he knew what was going on and decided to be a piece of shit kouhai, "I'm not kissing my Senpai and i doubt Watari would either, And Kindaichi is too young and probably hasn't ever kissed anyone," That earned a sound of protest from Kindaichi and a nod from Watari, "Its gotta be the third years." Yahaba crossed his arms and his frown twitched slightly into a smug grin, because _of course_ he knew what he was fucking doing. Thank Oikawa for teaching his apprentice how to be annoying just like him, he literally dug his and Hanamaki's graves indirectly, Oikawa definitely owed Hanamaki his first born child for all the shit he was putting him through.

He felt irritated and glared at Yahaba, wishing the person in question would just go away and everyone would forget about anything he said in the last minute. News flash, it didn't work, it never did.

Oikawa looked mortified and shook his head slowly "No." The horror in his voice was unmistakable and everyone knew it was there. 

Hanamaki was glad the attention was on Oikawa and not on himself because he would rather not kiss anyone and would rather have Oikawa sacrifice himself, take one for the team like a true captain, go down with his ship.

"Come on Oikawa" Hanamaki chirped out, He would throw Oikawa into.. whatever this is for the sake of science, unsure if he would rather it work or not. "take one for the team like the captain you are!" Hopefully the fake pride would push Oikawa to stop being a wuss (it was funny calling Oikawa a wuss even though he was one removing himself from the situation.)

Iwaizumi shrugged "I'll do it, Your my best friend anyways." friend zoned and forced to kiss your crush in not even the same hour, he wished he could hum a solemn funeral tune for Oikawa in this exact moment but he wouldn't be able to explain why he was doing it without outing Oikawa, and he knew if he snitched that Oikawa would snitch back and he wasn't for having his crush on Matsukawa revealed, even if he was painfully obvious.

Iwaizumi did agree and Hanamaki swore he could hear Oikawa's inner monologue freaking out, trying to identify if him agreeing meant anything.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa were standing in front of each other and yep, Oikawa was definitely sweating bullets, this was going to be embarrassing to watch.

They both leaned in and their lips touched, it was sweet and pure, and really adorable actually? Hanamaki turned away from the sight cause he might have gotten a cavity cause _god, _Too much for even someone with a large love for sweet and sappy things. They kissed for longer than necessary, (and damn could they be any more obvious, sheesh.) and when they pulled apart Hanamaki looked back to see a completely normal (MALE) Oikawa. _Did he get prettier after the switch or was he seeing things?_

It actually fucking worked.

Hanamaki had no clue if it was 'friendship is magic' or 'a true love's kiss' cause with those two it was basically the same thing. 

Oikawa looked at everyone strangely "Why are you all staring at me, I know I'm beautiful but wow." After he finished speaking his mouth formed into a 'o' shape, realizing his voice was less feminine, and his mouth twisted to a pure, genuine smile and he rushed outside to the bathroom, probably to look at himself in the mirror. A few seconds after he got out the door, Iwaizumi's face blossomed into a dark shade of red and fell to the ground and crouched, covering his face. 

Yeah, Oikawa was back to normal which meant that all attention was thrown at Hanamaki since he was still a girl. Everyone gave Iwaizumi a second glance before turning towards him and staring at him, which was kinda creepy since their eyes were all just dull and they just pierced through his soul, seeing through it, but yeah very creepy.

Watari smiled "Your turn Hanamaki-kun! And uh, I don't think Iwaizumi can help you." The libero's smile became more threatening and it implying and Hanamaki pretended to be oblivious to it.

Completely unrelated, but Kunimi is his favorite underclassman. 

Hanamaki groaned, Oikawa dragged him into this, why couldn't his spell be reversed when Oikawa's was? He had to kiss someone and everyone was gesturing at Matsukawa and he wished the spell would've killed him instead of submitting him to torture.

Matsukawa shrugged and gave Hanamaki a smirk "Since uh, Me and you are best friends-" Ouch.. That hurt. Is this how Oikawa felt? "and the magic is obviously feeds off bonds, I guess I'll kiss you?" It sounded like a question and Matsukawa sounded sorta... Nervous? But Hanamaki was probably hearing things and trying to convince himself his crush was requited.

"Mmmkay." Somehow he was able to keep his voice calm and steady, which he was feeling the exact opposite of, as a matter of fact, he really felt like jumping out of a window. He inched towards Matsukawa, betraying his feelings.

Matsukawa was barely taller than him, Unlike Iwaizumi and Oikawa who had quite the height difference. They were face to face and his and Matsukawas breaths were merging, he could feel heart rate sped up and hoped Matsukawa couldn't hear it because _holy crap Matsukawa was better looking up close and my heart is about to explode ohmygod ohm-_

It was awkward and shy at first, them leaning close together and their lips locking, but almost as instinct Hanamaki wrapped his arms around Matsukawas neck and he felt hands slide down to his waist. He was no longer internally screaming or freaking out, everything was blank and the only thing he paid any attention to was the feeling of kissing Matsukawa. 

The kiss lasted longer than Iwaizumi and Oikawas and longer than what would be considered platonic with them only pulling apart after having the need to breathe. After a few seconds of silence and soft breathing with them staring at each other intensely Hanamaki smiled, "I'm back to normal?" He asked it as a question but his own voice answered. It sounded less innocent and cute and more deep and sexy, He was back. Matsukawa smiled back but instead of his normal smirk, which normally tilted towards one side of his face, His smile was wider and his eyes crinkled. 

That was when his crush became something more. He stared up in shock at his best friend because he was breathtaking when he smiled like that, even though it was sappy it was the whole truth.

Snapping out of his shock, he glanced around the gym and saw everyone was averting their gaze from the intimate moment, respectfully. Iwaizumi was completely gone from his spot on the ground and he was nowhere in sight.

When Hanamaki turned back to Matsukawa he wasn't expecting to see a fond look in the other's eyes, but it was what he got.

He felt grossly lovesick and he couldn't stop himself from reaching and pulling Matsukawa done to kiss him once more. Their teeth clashed a bit, he made sure the kiss was short and quick because he didn't exactly have consent, also he didn't want to fully assume that Matsukawa liked him back.

He pulled away and glanced at Matsukawa who seemed bewildered. _Now or never I guess_

He pivoted on his feet for a second before speaking, "Uhmm... so I like you, like a lot and I've liked you for awhile now, So like would you, um, like to date me or.. something." His voice got quieter and he messed up his words near the end of his confession, he glanced down in embarrassment, he would've never suspected that confessing would make him feel so uneasy. When he bear the silence he looked up he saw that Matsukawa blushing furiously and looking flustered, which was a look he never thought he'd see on his calm and collected friend.

Matsukawa responded but his voice was quiet "Yeah. I like you too, a lot." Before Hanamaki's brain could fully register the words he had been dying to hear Matsukawa pulled him in for another kiss.

Their lips pressed together and they were in the same position as the first kiss, but this kiss was nicer then the first two since they both moved their lips against each others and Hanamaki basically clung onto Matsukawa. After they finally stopped exchanging spit, He opened his eyes and looked at Matsukawa who had swollen and red lips, he could only guess from the way he was being looked at that his lips were the same.

He buried his head in Matsukawas shoulder, "So we are boyfriends now?" Matsukawa snorted, "Yeah stupid, Did you not get that from me accepting your confession and me and you lip locking?" Hanamaki slapped his side with the back of his hand which caused them both to laugh.

"Five bucks that Oikawa and Iwaizumi are kissing?" He said

Matsukawa shook his head, "Twenty bucks that Iwaizumi was the one to confess."

Hanamaki laughed loudly, "Seriously? You think Iwaizumi is going to confess? Your on, I bet on Oikawa confessing."

"I mean did you see the way Iwaizumi crumpled to the floor and then disappeared to wherever Oikawa is? It's obvious he has confessing in mind."

"Oh god, If they actually confess we will all have the same anniversary date." 

"The horror. Sorry babe we gotta lie, they're gonna invite us every time and I don't want that."

"Can our anniversary be on April twentieth? That's my one dream."

"Perfect, this is exactly why I love you."

Everything turned out better than expected.

**Author's Note:**

> I wonder where Oikawa and Iwaizumi went.. HmmMmmM???
> 
> THIS TOOK ABSOLUTELY FOREVER UGYUHGJ I started it November 13 and i posted it when i finished. This is crazy ffs man, what started as 1000 words is now... whatever this fuckn is. Ignore it, its just to get the idea of magical gender transformation and oikawa and hanamaki screwing themselves over. (I love their friendship) I rushed this since it was bout to be deleted from my drafts and i aint having that. So yeah, i know its bad you dont need to tell me, its just here cause my brain works in a way and wont stop bugging me till i write this, effort or not. Sorry for wasting ur time lmao. (Im kinda proud since its my longest one shot and normally i aint very good at writing long ass fan fictions.)
> 
> also RIP my other draft that was deleted you wont be missed that much..
> 
> TELL ME IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES THAT I MISSED MY COMPUTER WASNT SHOWING ALL OF THEM AND IM TIRED AF AND DONT FEEL LIKE READING IT AGAIN.


End file.
